My very own Jack Chick comic.

The following is probably a true story, but I really don't remember.

Setting: the wooded path behind the local elementary school.

Enter Loyal, aprox. 8 years old on his way home from school.

Loyal: whistling the theme to Super Mario Brothers

Enter the Devil

Loyal: What the heck?

Devil: Correct! You are a bright boy.

Loyal: Hey, are you the devil?

Devil: No, no, that name is terrible for PR. But, it is a recognizable household name, so you may use it if you wish.

Loyal: But you're the universal root of all that is evil and wrong!

Devil: Hey, do you like the bands Motley Crue and Skid Row?

Loyal: Uh, yeah.

Devil: You're welcome.

Loyal: (pause) Oh.

Devil: Yes. Anyway, I'm currently trying to reach the new youth market. It's a new individualized service package, much more personal and client oriented. Are you interested?

Loyal: What? No!

Devil: Splendid! First, I have to ask a few questions. Have you read "the Devil and Daniel Webster?"

Loyal: No.

Devil: Are you at all familiar with the movie "the Seventh Seal" by Ingmar Bergman?

Loyal: Who?

Devil: Do you ever listen to AM radio?

Loyal: No.

Devil: Hmm... Ok, now to get down to business. What do you see yourself doing when you're, say, twenty-four years old.

Loyal: Twenty-four? Wow, that's really old.

Devil: Well, what do you want to do when you grow up?

Loyal: I want to draw, maybe a cartoonist?

Devil: That means going to art school, you know. Is that okay?

Loyal: Yeah, I like art.

Devil: Good, good. What else do you like to do?

Loyal: I like to play video games and watch TV.

Devil: Ahh, a gamer. How would you like to play video games and watch TV all day and all night when you grow up?

Loyal: Wow, all night?

Devil: You could eat nothing but macaroni and cheese and frozen pizza and drink root beer whenever you like.

Loyal: Wow! That'd be rad! But don't I have to get a job when I grow up?

Devil: How would you like to play an electric guitar?

Loyal: Awesome!

Devil: Then it's settled! When you're twenty-four you'll have everything you ever wanted when you were eight!

Loyal: Really?

Devil: Yes!

Loyal: Wow!

Devil: HA HA HA!!! (disappears in a puff of smoke)

Loyal: Wow, it's a good thing I'm eight years old and unfamiliar with the concept of far reaching consequences based on my actions. I'd better get home- those Nintendo games aren't going to play themselves.

scene